The other thing with grudges imo is that you’ve gotta have close friends and family (blood or chosen) who you designate as people who are allowed a few chances to hear the grudges and do better and earn your forgiveness. Grudges can genuinely be a great way to build strong, impermeable boundaries to keep yourself safe if you’re not letting them take up mental space and energy, and it sounds like you aren’t. The main thing I’d offer as food for thought is that those kinds of boundaries are a fortress that keeps you safe, but it can get pretty lonely if you don’t have people allowed in the fortress with you.